...LiFe oN mY eNd...

===w0rk w0rk w0rk===

2005-03-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

im back after another day of work...another 8 hours of standing in pdi...another routine of folding clothes,serving customers and arranging clothes....its finally getting boring...i wish i was back in school or at least in college...sungai wang cheerleading competition is this sat and were not even ready...the worst part is everyone wants to pull out from the competition..after all the hard work we put in...*sigh*...probs just keep piling up day after day....my life seems like its falling apart..but i can only try to keep myself together....chongie bought me ice-cream yesterday!!!so sweet...thanks hun...!and sheryl came to visit me at pdi yesterday...that really cheered me up esp cos i was having a bad day already....wish more of u ppl would drop by cos i miss everyone soo00ooo much!!today was worse than yesterday cos more probs jus keep popping up...and now that spm results are coming out soon...im soo freaked!!argh....the fear..the horror...lol...well all the best to u ppl...i bet u all did great...i was thinking to go genting to celebrate..not that i did very well but...i need a break!..haha...hmm...those of u that are interested please contact me asap yeah??lol...im soo sleepy now so i guess i better get some sleep to face another day of work tom....*yikes*..lol...bwaiz...

=:::cheer!!:=

2005-02-12T22:35:00.000-08:00

well,im finally back after sooo long...iver been busy with work and cny preps that i totally forgot bout my blog....so far cny has been fine..just that this year we didnt go to pahang cos my parents were busy.so i spent my cny right in front of the tv screen...and growwing fat!..lol...guess its time to lose some weight and get into shape cos cheer audition is this coming sat!!..lol...well yeah..i went to check out all stars cheer practices yesterday and man!these people are soo friendly and sweet...esp this girl i met...janet...well they work together like a bunch of frens with the same interests...i think thats why they are so united....the aud was supposed to be yesterday and i was only informed on fri...so obviously i freaked...and i spent my fri night jumping and practising till 2am...shit..and the next morning i could hardly feel my legs...then im at johns house at 7.30am the next day...with my legs already aching..and we go through more jumping sessions..ouch...my legs...so....we reached the place on time..im very surprised cos usually john is a late comer..guess he's changed...lol....hmm...so by the time i get there i can barely walk properly but luckily jude let me aud next week...so at least i still have one more week to prepare....well..stright after cheer prac john dropped me off in subang...cos i had to work!!arrgghh...and i was late one hour!..lol...but the PIC was in a good mood...lucky me...my legs were killing me cos i had to stand another 7 hours b4 i could go home...now im home ponteng-ing work cos i couldnt feel my legs this morning!.lol...well its not actually that bad but its aching like never b4 so ill be going to work at 5 pm today....so hopefully im better by tom so i can prac b4 sat comes....

and yeah the story of my bday party....lol....johns really good idea to throw me into the pool almost drowned pekies ph...and smashing my face into the cake..wait til he turns 18..i hv so much in plan for him!!just u wait and see!..haha...but ill tell u all the full story later cos i gotta get my butt off and shower or else ill be late ofr work again!haha...lucky my work here is more flexible than at parkson....i dont wanna think bout standing another 5hrs later..but my mums gonna say that i only know how to have fun....and yeah..shes right....working is not easy..no fun!!lol....well...will update u ppl later....until then...happy chinese new year and happy valentines day tom!!!!*muackZZ*

-:::cRushed:::-

2005-01-23T07:07:00.000-08:00

*today mr. lazylilsweetiefreddy[alfred] came to pdi to surprise me..hmm...hehe...man,was i surprised!!he came at 4.30pm so he had to wait 2 hrs before i finished my shift...i really didnt expect him to wait..but yeah...2hrs later...there he was!!....standing right in front of me....how sweet!!!lol...well..we went for dinner together before my mum fetched me home....over dinner...we talked bout the crushes we had and all the silly stuff ppl do for the ppl they like...sometimes its just funny how we can so blinded when we like someone....for those who know me better must know that i had some dumb crush on this fella for 4 years!!!can u bliv it??!!but even though ive moved on, alot of memories still remain close with me.....its funny how we can like someone and forget the rest of the world...but as normal as it is....its amazingly beautiful!!!.....its great to be loved and to love but it hurts when the person we love does not return that special feeling....nevertheless...the most beautiful feeling in the world is loving someone unconditionally without expecting a return, without hoping for a commitment, with no boundaries..... that kinda love is so pure....

as time passes and memories fade....that love will never end.....*

mem0ries

2005-01-13T05:19:00.000-08:00

i can still remember school days like it was yesterday...why cant i let go of the past and move on?i really dunno why....it seems so hard to move on....i miss school life so badly....only when i start working do i realize how much i miss school....college will start soon...but the memories that i spent in sri aman...will never fade...i remember the first day i stepped into school....until the last day of school...from pj lessons to boring history lessons and the crazy times i had with my buddies...i remember burying peks virgin bottle at the back of the school and our lil secrets we shared....i remember how we used to make so much noise in the canteen and how we used to eat asam laksa everyday and never get sick of it...oh wait...that was just me...!lol...and how sheryl used to always stuff me with food every reccess..

how bridget and i used to wait for ppl to come for prayer meetings....and how we so hated lining up outside the classroom before class and the ever-so-long assemblies we had every monday...and the bday party u guys threw for me in form 2...and the fights we used to hace though they were so stupid...and the teachers that we used to think were so annoying....but werent actually...and how we bathed in the "bilik masakan" after helping pn. choo clean up...how mel kept saying "so cold larr!!"....how we came early every morning to shower in the school toilet!!!lol...that was when we had green hse practice...how we had to go for marching practices...

*pek san, i miss "US"....jus the thought of us not being in the same college is killing me.....
*sheryl...the times we shared....ahh....
*ct...thanks for keeping a watch on ps most of the time...she can get very cheeky at times...
*yu yee and mel, were always best friends.....
*yu yee,its ur turn to keep a watch on my lil peks now since u guys are in the same coll...
*poh yee...i appreciate the times we used to be so close....
that goes for bridget and caryn too...
*chui mun, pc, jasmine and denise, thanks for joining the team..though not for too long but i really enjoyed the times together...
*denise, thanks for letting the past go...one thing i regret most throughout my whole school life was that huge misunderstanding we had....u will always be a special friend...arguements only make friendships stronger...[poh yee, i remember u taught me that]....
*june...the best time we had were during dance practices..u are one great dancer...*go gurl!!*.....
*yen li...our memories in cf are always with me...

*my cheer team...TEAM CROSS!!....to team cross captain 2005...all the best for the team..ill be back soon...!!*may saw..the best co-cap the world can ever have...yes, i know uve been playing bball ok?..lol....
*the family of 5SD...u gurls rock!!love u all to bits....
*rye,thanks for the sms....
*and nebbe..keep ur laughing going...
*priya..my bestest buddy in class...thanks for taking down notes for me when i wasnt in class....lol...most of the time that is..esp when we had cheer practices during lessons.....ure the best!!
*nurul..thanks for all the notes...
*tatchana..i hope u got the job...!!!
*maanprit....ure still as beautiful as ever!...
*awin...sell more toys!!...
*ei leen my darling twin...though we dont look alike...ure always my twin...!!

im finally letting go....but very slowly....i gotta admit this...i love sri aman!!always will....

my best memories were from there and will remain close in my heart a lifetime....keep in contact gurls!!!u gurls mean the world to me.....

money don't come easy....

2005-01-12T07:28:00.000-08:00

first day working in PDI and i think i'm gonna rot there if i work there any longer but its my own choice so im not gonna let myself regret..!!lol.....hardly any customers even though we are having sales now....com'n ppl!!!i jus said SALES ok?!!...and there is still hardly anyone....in a way its good that theres nothing to do...but then its sooooo boring just standing around staring at the same old clothes....saw maanprit yesterday and that reminded me more of school...ohh.....i MISS SCHOOL!!...hmm...found out that sheryls in TAR college and she didnt even tell me!!...hmmpph...so much for my plans to go and visit her in KDU...ish ish...guess we're "falling apart" from each other...and i thought that would never happen.was supposed to drop a personal letter to pekkie but was too tired to WALK there....eh,pek,ur hse not that near ok?!!..lol....hmm..seems that i'm really not in the mood to blog today...what a miserable life it is to work..those of you who are still so used to shoving your hands in your parents face and asking for money....remember one thing!!MONEY DONT COME EASY!!..wait till u ppl come out and work...if u get a good job..well then good for you...but if u dont...u'll see what i mean.....and alfred...if u are reading this...i'm supposed to reply u...but as u can see...im so exhausted and lazy...lol....so later days aight?!!....dont forget what i said yeah?!!money dont come easy..really....

[L.O.A] - love one another

2005-01-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

did u know...?
1]"love-in-a-mist" is actually a blue-flowered garden plant, nigella damascena, with many delicate green bracts.
2]"love-lies-bleeding" is a garden plant, amaranthus caudatus, with drooping spikes of purple-red blooms.
3]"love-apple" is a tomato.
4]"love lock" is a curl or lock of hair worn on the temple or forehead.
5]"love child" is an illegitimate child.
6]"love handles" in american slang is excess fat at the waist.
7]"love seat" is an armchair or small sofa for two.
well then...how about "love" itself?....
according to the concise oxford dictionary, "love" is an intense feeling of deep affection or fondness for a person or thing....at least that is one of the meanings....what does the bible say about love?in 1corinthians13:4-8 it says "love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs....love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth....it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails...."
wow....!!and so,this year the YF theme? - "L.O.A".... no no...not "Lack Of Attention!!"...but "Love One Another"....anyway, there's so much more to the word "love" than the typical " i love you's" heard in movies or the many "i love you's" heard on valentine's day....saying "i love you" can mean so much...but saying "i love you in the name of the Lord" can mean so much more...so go out and say it to your friends today!....remember, u can make a difference!!
~*[love never fails]*~

new year, new life

2005-01-09T18:02:00.000-08:00

i thought i'd not get too personal when i blog..i mean....God knows who would be reading this?!but then again, i just noticed that i'd have nothing to write if i didn't write about....hmm..ME?...and obviously my life....well i just read bridgets blog and oh my!!poor bridgey..!!i feel it too cos i was helping out at the church kin-dy last yr and they wanted me to come back and work this year...i really dont mind but honestly..if you ask me to take care of the kids everyday i'd probably go outta my mind before the end of the day.but bridgey - everything's gonna be okay aight?

i was back in church on the first day of YF [orientation day]..and i realized one thing...i'm so far away from God!!...another thing is that i feel so so "old" cos i hardly know anyone there except for the few that have been around when i was...and the teachers...felt weird being back in church but its great to be back...sent cat home and i tell u i sooo miss her..and our bonding times we used to have...hmm..as for people like teeming [currently in rbs] and jin fong and especially michael...thanks alot for encouraging me to come back and always updating me about church stuff.... hmm..bryan...im so jealous of ur cam...ish ish..but at the same time..im happy for u..ben...thanks for going to pump petrol with with me.....appreciate it...and thanks to alfred that my hair is still so straight...lol..cos he kept on pulling it...

apart from that, i have finally resigned from my pathetic job in parkson grand, subang parade....well, for those of u who dont know...i was "cashier-ing" there for the past one month...and i tell you...it's such a lame job...every morning u have to fill in declare forms and declare forms and then more declare forms...long working hours plus, picture this...being the only.....i repeat..ONLY chinese cashier in the whole of parkson..not to be racist or anything..it's just that i feel so different...but the good thing is that my malay has improved a lil....which i am proud to say...so those of you that still wanna laugh at my malay ....go ahead...!!lol..

im starting work at PDI, carrefour, sj on the 12th of jan so until then i am still free so anyone wanna go out...now's the time!..lol....now that ive resigned i have more time to reminisce on school times...gotta admit that i really miss going to school...especially my beloved team cross!!![i love you gurls!!]..and of course all my school friends and buddies...from pekkie...sheryl...bridgey...yanyan...ting...yu yee...mel..pohz....and all the rest of u...i love u gurls so so much...!!its amazing how one month just flew by...bridgey..dont worry..you're not the only one that hasnt started college yet...im still waiting for results...hoping to end up in taylors school of hospitality and tourism studying hotel management....im so looking forward to it!!..and bryan..if you're going for april intake too...see you there!...

guess that's enough for today....a new year with still so many shortcomings...what a disappointment!!but as long as there is improvement..it's an achievement right?..so all u people out there!!!strive for something new this year!!it's gonna be a great year ...trust me....! loving all u people always... peace out*

my chrysalis

2004-12-27T22:21:00.000-08:00

school years have finally ended and i find myself slowly crawling out of my protected comfort zone --- my high school!!a chrysalis is the hard outer case enclosing a quiescent pupa of a butterlfly also known as the transitional or prepartory stage of a butterfly, so has my high school been for me.with my whole life still ahead of me i realize i would rather relive those years than to move on.but then again, what's the point of learning without progressing?!well then, the simplicity of life is not that simple after all!everyone is in search of something different, something extraordinary, something bombastic, something extravagant, something that stands out...what is life all about?!in school we learn in accordance to the syllabus already set for us.when school ends everything is about descisions and choices.a small me, in a big world....hmm...sometimes i can feel so lost and out of place...i wish i could return to....my chrysalis ---